Connie's Sad Truths
by Danielle888
Summary: To say Connie Beauchamp is down is an understatement, but when support is offered will she take it?
1. Chapter 1

Okay this is my first EVER attempt at writing any fanfic so please don't shoot me down in the reviews! Please let me know what you think! Danielle x

Connie Beauchamp was sad- no she wasn't sad...she was so lonely that her state of numbness was by now a normality. Never had she needed a hold to hand, a cheek to kiss or a body to sleep next to...never. But now things had changed- as she let herself sit in her office chair, her elbows weighing on the desk and her forehead firmly in her hands and eyes clenched shut in an attempt to stop the escaping tears and lights sobs, she felt lonely, isolated and estranged from her fellow colleagues.

She knew that after being out treating patients for a good few hours she could no longer hold in the inevitable break down she had felt coming on all day. Her eyes were red rimmed and her mascara was breaking off her eyelashes, her natural eyes showing their tired selves. Her blinds were shut, a formality now so she could just escape into the sanctuary of her office so nobody could see her like this - nobody.

"Mrs Beauchamp I have some results here!" Robyn entered the room in her usual chirpy manner without even glancing up from the paper..."ohh Mrs..Mrs Beauchamp? Wh-What is it?"

Connie didn't even look, instinctively she turned around and started shifting through books behinds her desk..."okay, umm thank you Robyn, uhh could you please leave them there and I'll get back to them..." Her voice was powerless, coarse and definitely not something Robyn didn't notice.

Robyn stood still - not sure whether to walk right back out or try and comfort her clearly emotional boss...she remembered Connie's first day, Robyn admired her, she had everything...nobody had passed away in Resus so far, not that Connie usually was effected badly by the rounds of deaths that occurred so often in the ED and no bad reports had been slatting the ED recently...so why on earth was the Ice-queen crying her eyes out?

After a few seconds Connie heard the door shut- Robyn had left, she turned around sniffing and trying to wipe under her eyes as strategically as possible (why she had decided to forget her make up bag today of all days was beyond her). She looked up. Robyn. Right in the middle of her office. Her door shut and the bubbly nurse was still stood there, not pitying, not horrified, just in awe. "Robyn, what, what are you doing?"

"You didn't answer my question and you normally have an answer for everything, so come on..."

Connie was just starting to stop crying her voice was still breaking and the lump in her throat was there so she did not feel like talking -"What was your question? You didn't ask anything"

Robyn looked on at the woman she had been amazed with- and could not fathom why on earth she was in her current state, she knew Connie would not open up to her and she had to tread carefully. Robyn decided something in that moment. As Connie sat desperately trying to breathe deeply to stop abnormal breathing after crying so hard she saw Robyn come at her. Robyn sat against Connie's desk and wrapped her arms around the ever-thinning Clinical Lead, there was no time for Connie to react as she was taken into Robyn's hug. She could feel the her warmth and for once - just accepted the embrace.

Robyn eventually let go - she thought she was truly a genius, perfect, the ice queen would see her support and did not back away! "There you go Mrs Beauchamp, everything is better after a Robyn hug. Don't be so hard on yourself for whatever it is...If you need anything let me know...and when you are ready you still need to answer my question. What has changed since you first walked through those doors in Summer?"

Does anybody want me to carry on or is there something anyone would like to see in particular? Please let me know what you think! Thank you.


	2. Chapter 2

Connie's sad truths Part 2

Thank you all for being kind! I was a bit scared that the chapter was awful :') Hope you all enjoy this next chapter!

As Robyn left, Connie heard the familiar click of the door that signified she, once again, was alone. She glanced at the time on her computer – 12:32. She had been in since 7am and was nowhere near finishing this shift…although right now home wasn't proving to be much better either. The house was cold and although she habitually moaned at Grace for leaving her clutter everywhere – she missed it, her house was now more of a magazine feature. There was no love and no personality to her house. It was now a house and not a home.

After five minutes of deep breathing to try and minimize her blotchy skin, her red nose, and very clearly red-rimmed, mascara-less eyes Connie had decided she'd had enough. Connie decided to actually take a lunch break – it had been a long time since she had taken any type of break in fact. As she picked up her bag and fastened the buttons of her coat she headed out. Anybody looking at Connie would have realised something very, very clear. When Mrs Beauchamp first arrived her stance and rhythmical thuds of her Louboutins hitting the floor caused her head to sail high, her shoulders to be pulled back and her hair swaying in sync with her hips. But as Connie walked through the ED now she was merely a shadow of what once was, her head down, her shoulders forward to avoid people noticing and her face almost cringing at the sound of her own heel s – for the first time in forever she had decided she did not want to have heels anywhere near her. Of course, the sound of heels normally made all the workers in the ED try and flee the room – making eye-contact was a no-go so nobody even noticed this change…that was except one auburn-haired nurse who always looked on to this figure in wonderment.

Even though the sun was shining it was bitter outside and Connie missed her paper coffee to keep her warm on a day like today – she had decided that her mind was already too active from overthinking without needing the presence of her normally loyal friend – caffeine. As Connie sat on the small bench near the entrance of the ED she looked on at her colleagues. It was as if they all belonged and she just sat there – apart and isolated. Connie started noticing individuals such as Dixie and Rita who were talking outside the ambulance, no patient in sight – just having a friendly catch up, then she saw Zoe and Max walking the far side of the ED about to go to town, she noticed how they were holding hands and every now and then Max would pull Zoe closer so they were shoulder by shoulder. Then she noticed Lofty and Robyn, they were walking back towards the ED, their Subway bags full….and then Connie looked down at her hands, there was nobody holding them, she looked to her side, there was nobody sitting there, she looked down to her bag, and neither Grace's iPod, earpods, nor iPhone were there.

Eyes brimming with tears as this realisation hit her again she decided she had to go, she picked up her bag she turned around about to leave when she caught sight of Lofty and Robyn - she looked on at their friendship, he held her subway above his head as she attempted to jump to grab it from the clearly unreachable height. Connie looked at her feet and half laughed to herself, however as she did that she attracted the attention of both the nurses. She looked at the nurses briefly and then realised her eyes must still be red and that she was already nearly crying –she instantaneously run her fingers across her cheeks and turned to her nearest escape where nobody would see her – her car.

Meanwhile Robyn had given up on catching her beloved meatball-marinara and turned to lofty who had frozen.

"Loft, what's up? Come on it's cold out here!"

Lofty turned Robyn "Was that just Mrs Beauchamp we saw? Was she cry-crying?!"

"Lofty it doesn't matter – I'm sure it was just mascara or something in her eyes….it's hard being a girl you know!"

"Robyn..no I'm sur –"

"Lofty I'm sure it was nothing…. to tell you the truth I would love to be Connie Beauchamp …can you imagine?"

"Why on earth would you want to be her – everyone hates her!"

"Not everyone hates her – I don't!"

"Well most do….anyway your right it's cold…come on."

Robyn turned to follow but as she did she realised the silver Mercedes speeding out of the ED. She realised something must be wrong for Connie Beauchamp to leave her beloved Emergency Department – Robyn was going to find out. She quickly walked back into the ED and told Lofty she had to go and finish some paper- work Connie wanted done by the end of her shift, she picked up a laptop and headed for some privacy.

Upon finding an empty on call room she set down the laptop and started typing –

`Connie Beauchamp.` The staff database was proving to be very helpful and Robyn soon had a plan. As she was emptying her locker Lofty walked in "Robyn what are you doing?"

"Uhh I just felt ill and decided I should probably not be treating any patients and I need to go and see my parents so I thought I may as well go now and stay the night instead of doing so this weekend...yeah..ohh and I need to pick some bits up in town so…so please cover for me or tell Rita I will speak to her later.."

"okay yeah if you say so…umm don't you think you should take your overnight bag – you did say you were staying the night at your parents' yeah?"

"Lofty what would I do without you ehh?" With that, Robyn walked briskly out of the building and into her taxi….

Thank you m-is-for-MollyMansfieldMealing, your idea is coming up next!


	3. Chapter 3

Connie's sad truths part 3

Thnak you m-is-for-MollyMansfieldMealing for this idea!

Connie pulled out and on to the dual carriage way, thank goodness it was the middle of a work day and the roads were empty…it meant she didn't have to concentrate as hard which was a very good thing as her vision was blurred due to ever-present unshed tears pooling in her eyes. As she turned on the radio she cursed herself knowing that it was bound to happen – as if like clockwork a seemingly fitting-song was playing

"ohh you can't hear me cry, see my dreams all die…it's so quiet here, and I feel so cold, this house no longer feels like home…" (Ben Cocks – so cold).

She was by now driving slowly through smaller country roads, tears were freely escaping down her cheeks and her light sobs started to drown out the radio. Connie had had enough – she didn't even know why she was crying anymore. She thought she had accepted the fact she was lonely and however horrible the constant feeling of numbness she felt was –at least she wasn't living on the edges of her emotions…she could not return to work being like this. She could not crack in front of any of them. She would never forgive herself.

Connie pulled up in her drive. She did not want to go in the house in front of her, it was too big, too dark, and too empty. She had now been sat staring at her house and quietly sobbing fir a good 10 minutes. As she looked in her rear view mirror and saw a taxi she knew there was no escaping this – she knew that it would be one of her work –_mates _but she just couldn't face them. Without even drying her eyes she got out the car in one movement and headed straight to the door without even glancing over her shoulder to see who had come to pry.

Robyn had hurriedly payed the cab driver and headed up to Connie, although she was in awe of Connie's house she knew there were more pressing matters to deal with.

Connie had a plan, she would ignore whoever it was and they could get a return to exactly where they came from, work. However as her trembling hands fiddled with the lock she could see in the glass reflection of the door that it was in fact Robyn who had come to see her…..Robyn. The only member of the whole workplace that didn't appear to loathe her. She could not lock Robyn out – and that was certified as she heard the taxi rev and pull off. But she had a plan B – as always, get yourself together and pretend nothing is wrong.

"Mrs Beauchamp!" As Connie opened the door, she let herself through and walked straight ahead she left the door wide open expecting the presence of Robyn.

"Robyn, yes come in.." Connie's voice was tired, it had no cheer and no strictness – just a nothing voice.

As Robyn walked through following Connie she realised to the side of the corridor her collection of Louboutins were out of order, some were lying on their sides and they looked as if they were just thrown or kicked to the pile. Robyn was still surprised at the class and style in this house, as she entered the open plan kitchen diner she could see Connie with her back to her, she was surprised to see how petite the woman was without her trusty heels.

"Robyn what do you want?" Connie asked bluntly and very much to the point, right now she wanted nothing more to sit alone and drown her sorrows in the rose wine on the counter

"huh? Uhh sorry I – "

"Robyn – tea? Coffee? Something stronger?"

Robyn opted for tea, and as the two women sat down in Connie's living room the silence was growing…

"So why did you follow me home? It's not something many people make a habit of doing…"

"Mrs Beauchamp I was concerned…you were alone Mrs B, and nobbody should be lonely-"

"And what exactly makes you think I'm lonely – for all you know I could be married, children, the lot eh?"

"But you're not with anybody are you, you're in your trophy home..alone, I just thought I could cheer you up, worth a try ehh?"

Connie looked down into her wine, she could just about to see her reflection, she chuckled to herself and shook her head briefly….she sensed Robyn was quite insightful and was going to persist in her questioning…

"SO what is this ehh? A bet to see who can break the Beauchamp, see who can really get to know me – bonus points for acting like you care?"

"Mrs Beauchamp I do care...actually there was some talk about getting to know you properly earlier but seriously if I was taking part I wouldn't bring it up would I?" Robyn moved closer to Connie who was by now looking at her wine glass which had been placed on a nearby coffee table….Robyn decided it was time to stop being so bubbly and try and sound as empathetic as was possible to get to Connie

"Remember when you first came to this place, I was one of the only people to carry on caring, to continue to defend you to all my mates who would moan about the "new consultant". I must say Mrs Beauchamp that you have done a good job of hiding this change – nobody has noticed, for such a ditzy nurse god knows how I did…"

Connie looked up at Robyn, although she was still visibly upset she had a smile on her ae, she just liked Robyn – she got on with her work and Connie felt guilty for giving her such a hard time, that guilt extended when she realised after everything she had thrown at Robyn she had always remained supportive and as optimistic as she had. As she smiled at her Robyn suddenly turned and reached down into a very oversized bag.

"Ohh look I have just remembered I have this for you! Don't laugh.."

Connie took the gift bag from her and looked in, she realised it was a birthday present bag "Robyn, how did you know, I mean –"

"so you aren't worried about how I know exactly where you live but knowing your birthday is almost a crime…okay. I looked on the system to find out –"

"you looked on the system – that's –"

"yes yes very confidential and very much totally illegal to use it or personal reasons but I am glad that I did, hurry up and have a look will you!"

AS Connie lifted out one of the items she realised Robyn's sincerity – it was a Me to You teddy bear, holding a some star shaped balloons with smiley faces on them, she picked up the card – slowly she opened it to find on the front one me to you bear who had a few plasters dotted across it's body being hugged by another bear – on the front it said "When you need me I'll be there for you, dedicated to a special friend." Connie didn't dare look up yet, she opened the card and in Robyn's trademark flouncy, curly writing she read "Happy Birthday Mrs Beauchamp! Sometimes you don't need the most praising, up-to-date and spectacular statistics to be happy….sometimes all you really need is a big Robyn hug! Smile when you see that ridiculously cliché bear and please cheer up….p.s the card is implying you are a bear but I am telling you now you are much thinner than that bear. Love, Robyn xxxx"

Connie started crying, she didn't even have the power to stop – it wasn't a sad crying, she was laughing at the same time, she moved over to Robyn in her mess of emotions and hugged her, during the hug Connie spoke "Robyn thank you – you didn't need to…but one thing…`special friend?` are you sure..?"

"there was only one card shop so I had to work with what I had…but seriously Connie you should let people get to know you – you'd be surprised to know that people would like to get to know you…and uh why are you crying exactly?"

Connie sat back and rolled her eyes, she was a mess – "I don't even know…guess this isn't very Mrs Beauchamp like is it?"

"ohh come on you are still a woman for goodness' sake – Mrs Beauchamp is a bit of a character isn't it? Okay you don't need to answer that but right – if I ask you one question you must answer it okay, you must!"

"Ok what is it?"

"Who are you Mrs Beauchamp?"

"ohh Robyn, I'll tell you about me but you need to know it's a sad truth…"

**Alright so that was my attempt – guys please tell me if it's awful because I don't want to be boring everyone! Please let me know if you want anything particular to come up - thank you x


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